Jdbaby's Weblog

The Kinda Mother That I Am

judeetnoelle — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:45:17 +0000

I’ve always emphasised on developing a healthy self esteem and self confidence for my kids. I grab opportunities whenever they come knocking, be it competitions, performances on stage, I will almost always go out of my way to support them. EJ has always been quick in learning new things, alert, possessses excellent memory and mindful of the learning environment. This applies to almost every thing that comes in his way that is academic. He is in a less challenging environment in school currently, so he has been receiving merit awards for academic performances. For AJ, I know that her school environment is very different. School work is slightly more challenging, and more importantly, children in her school are of different family background. So I predicted that she has a lesser chance of receiving merit awards.

What did I do? I planned ahead, so that she wouldnt feel any less accomplished than her brother. I made sure she was well prepared for her Inter School TKD competition this year so that she would win a medal for her school. Despite nursing a high fever for 2wks, and recovering on the day of the competition, she clinched a Silver medal, fighting against girls as old as 5 years older. That, garnered her a medal award by her school. She got to go on stage, just like her brother, to receive this. In fact, she became quite a little celebrity as the Principal and teachers were so amazed that such a small person can spar (actually, she didnt compete in sparring). True enough, she didnt do well enough academically for her to receive a merit award. I feel guilty that I didnt put in more effort in her Chinese, but then, hey, something’s gotta give way if we want a balanced lifestyle for our kids, rite?

Anyway, that’s the kinda mother I am.

Days of Our Lives

judeetnoelle — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:14:07 +0000

Some days are just so painful.

She Assured Me

judeetnoelle — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:08:41 +0000

We went to celebrate AJ’s effort in TKD grading today. She got to choose what we were to have for dinner. I had suggested Japanese, as she loves sushi. She asked, “Is Japanese expensive?” I said, “Usually.” She said, “Ok, then we wont go for Japanese.”

We walked to a few restaurants and she looked at the menu, checking out the prices. Each time she said “no”, she muttered, “too expensive.” We settled for one that had an weekend offer.

After we were settled, I asked her if given a choice, would she rather have more money to buy more things or time w/ mummy. She said, “Time w/ mummy, cuz even tho I cant ‘ve all the things that I want, I still have mummy.”

That eased and warmed my heart, as I’ve been feeling the guilt of not being able to provide them with more.

We Forget

judeetnoelle — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:43:55 +0000

We forget the feeling of overwhelming love we felt for them when we first laid eyes on them,

We forget all the blurry thots that went thru our minds for that few seconds,

We forget the dreams that we want them to dream,

As they grow up to have their own minds,

As they grow up to defy us because they are unsure of themselves,

As they grow up to feel their way around in this very complex world,

As they grow up to try to understand all the other complex human beings,

As they grow up to try to understand themselves,

As they grow up to try to understand us and our decisions,

We forget how tough it’s to do all that at their age(s),

We forget that they have it harder now as the pressure piles on,

We forget that we always said before we had kids – all I want is for my kids to be healthy & happy,

We forget all these and look at them with anger and frustration,

We forget that they are only kids and not so much doing stuffs to spite us,

We forget how to fill our hearts with the overwhelming love we felt for them the first time we laid eyes on them.

EJ was like a 90 yr old sage, deep in thots, with his eye brows looking knitted, and appeared to be staring and studying everyone and everything going on in the delivery room. He’s still like that, often deep in thots, and then saying the most queer, well “researched” statements.

AJ’s hair was wet, dark and extremely curly. The moment she was put into the crib, she wailed. Non-stop. Even tho she can be quite a confident one, she needs reassurances constantly. Which is why she needs long, slow, gentle chats.

We forget that it’s vital to stay supportive and calm when they face situations in life. And not handle the situations with anger.
Open arms, always have open arms. Always remind them that our arms will remain open.

I Like Her

judeetnoelle — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:15:33 +0000

I came across a lady named, Zainal Anwar, who ran NGOs (she’s probably still does. I need to google on her), who lived life w/ such ferocity that reading abt her, makes me wanna get up and DO something. The following are excerpts from the article. What a character:

One day, she discovered on a chance visit to the school staff room that, against her name, a frowning teacher had scribbled: “Too high spirited, too playful, too talkative, too naughty.” With these four strikes against her, she never made prefect.

- extracted from – http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/3/30/lifefocus/20762710&sec=lifefocus

“I was always asking questions that they could not answer,” says Zainah. “Like why (Stamford) Raffles was considered the founder of Singapore when there were people (already living) there before.”

Awesome, isnt she? It’s ok if my kids nvr get picked to be prefects or monitors. I really dont wish for them to be “yes, mdm” people. And I will not ignore extraordinary questions fr them anymore. I will take time to ponder and say, “You are quite rite.”

Cant Think Of A Title

judeetnoelle — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:00:24 +0000

Some days, I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. I do whatever I need to do for others, daily. But I cant feel myself. The clock ticks away. Some days, it feels like forever. Some days, it feels like another day whizzed past me and I ve not done anything for myself.

Mummy’s On A Trip – Guilt Trip

judeetnoelle — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 02:56:50 +0000

It’s sch holidays. We had worked really hard for EJ’s exams (I worked really hard arguing with him for resisting revision). And EJ had work pretty hard the whole semester with the amount of (unnecessary) homework piled on him daily & over the wkends.

I’ve been questioning myself. As a mummy. Their holiday schedules have been filled up with training after training. AJ has TKD competition coming up. EJ has bowling competition coming up. On top of that, he has violin exams too. Any other local parent will be happy to occupy his/her child w/ such activities. But I want my kids to have a ball, loads of fun, so much fun that they literally laugh out loud, plentifully, if there’s such a word.

Unexpected Discovery

judeetnoelle — Sat, 21 May 2011 17:20:03 +0000

I cant recall what I was Googling on but I chanced upon a blog. I’m not sure what fascinated me – perhaps the writing style, perhaps where this couple is situated now, perhaps what they are doing at that period of their lives (envious?), perhaps their quirky taste in music, perhaps their intellectual taste in books…..But, I’ve been reading their blog for the past 3-4 years. Now, they have a totally adorable toddler. It marvels me how a stranger’s life can fascinate another.

And whenever I need a little pick me up, I turn to their blog, cuz they nvr fail to lighten up that heavy load on my heart.

Duh!

judeetnoelle — Tue, 17 May 2011 14:02:38 +0000

For her hb’s b’days, she planned d guest lists, planned d menus, ordered the cakes, shopped for the ingredients, toiled & sweat in d kitchen, washed all dishes & cleaned d kitchen after d parties.

No pat on the shoulders fr guests/friends.

No thank u fr hb.

Hb gives wife one bracelet for anniversary, and her friend goes….”oh, he’s sooooo sweeeeeeet!”

Duh!

These Feet Are Made For Walking

judeetnoelle — Thu, 12 May 2011 04:52:29 +0000

I used to run but started brisk walking like 11yrs ago, on and off. Compared to running, which can be damaging to the body, brisk walking has tons of benefits similar to other exercises.

I started walking again, almost daily, since AJ started school. I’d walk EJ to sch, and walk off fr there. Sometimes when I dont walk in the morning, I’d walk when the rest of the fam.’s having dinner. I emphasise on having dinner together as a family. But that’s the only time I can walk (when daddy comes home).

Once u’ve started smt on a daily basis, it feels real awkward when u dont do it for a day. For me, I walk also cuz I like the feeling of open spaces, music pumping and the after-effect feeling of exercising. I walk to get away fr home, when things get too crazy and I need to be myself. Like when AJ was sick for a wk & I was w/ her 24/7. One afternoon, when it was hot and sunny, I juz picked up my things and walked. It was soooo gd to get out. Also when things get too depressing & I need the adrenalin to lift the wt off my chest, I walk. Sometimes I wish I ‘ve a longer route or wish I had more time, so that I can walk much longer.